








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5601 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3941 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2344 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3668 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,329,435 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | markey ❦ | 60% | 53 |
| #2 | Hylia | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | ShiftingAndy | 53% | 73 |
| #4 | blackjet2050 | 52% | 75 |
| #5 | Morty | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hylia | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | ShiftingAndy | 53% | 73 |
| #4 | blackjet2050 | 52% | 75 |
| #5 | Morty | 48% | 27 |
| #6 | RBW | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blackjet2050 | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ShiftingAndy | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | RBW | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Hylia | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Morty | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blackjet2050 | 203 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | markey ❦ | 138 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | RBW | 126 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hylia | 111 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | ShiftingAndy | 100 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | markey ❦ | +4.99 | 87 | 74 |
| #2 | blackjet2050 | +3.95 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | Morty | +2.37 | 81 | 47 |
| #4 | RBW | +0.65 | 78 | 64 |
| #5 | ShiftingAndy | +0.26 | 66 | 63 |





