








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1257 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1581 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 620 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1116 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $542,687 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | вэ.ωατэя | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Mokonsan | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | Mangki | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | Sir-MLGRick | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | Richtig Angry | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mangki | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | Sir-MLGRick | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | Richtig Angry | 54% | 13 |
| #6 | octopus | 54% | 54 |
| #7 | Elmo | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir-MLGRick | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Mokonsan | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Mangki | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | вэ.ωατэя | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Elmo | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | octopus | 154 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mangki | 53 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | вэ.ωατэя | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Richtig Angry | 35 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Elmo | 28 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mangki | +4.40 | 46 | 67 |
| #2 | Richtig Angry | +2.31 | 50 | 69 |
| #3 | ENBY | +2.18 | 61 | 46 |
| #4 | octopus | +1.36 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | Elmo | +0.59 | 51 | 56 |





