








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 347 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4005 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4186 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4819 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2752 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,831 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Titovs | 53% | 34 |
| #2 | LIPSI HA | 53% | 104 |
| #3 | Pur1n$ | 50% | 206 |
| #4 | IVORY420 | 46% | 114 |
| #5 | JURIS KALNIŅŠ | 45% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pur1n$ | 28 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Slavsz | 28 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | IVORY420 | 18 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | peace ДЕЦ | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | LIPSI HA | 9 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IVORY420 | 440 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | peace ДЕЦ | 428 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Slavsz | 342 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Pur1n$ | 305 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | LIPSI HA | 192 | 0.09 | 5 min |





