








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 97 | 4% |
| Smokes | 283 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1022 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 972 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $266,994 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cpt. Buttstuff | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | groundh0g | 43% | 49 |
| #5 | juice | 42% | 187 |
| #6 | Imprettyneat | 40% | 20 |
| #7 | Let's Grow | 37% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kelso | 352 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | juice | 117 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Let's Grow | 90 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Imprettyneat | 85 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | groundh0g | 27 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kelso | +3.40 | 58 | 51 |
| #2 | Let's Grow | +2.14 | 63 | 43 |
| #3 | groundh0g | +1.58 | 57 | 44 |
| #4 | juice | +0.96 | 38 | 29 |
| #5 | Cpt. Buttstuff | -0.54 | 12 | 33 |





