








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3363 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4730 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4894 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3936 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,155,166 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alcaponne | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | XpLz | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | Vitalic | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | Eleven. | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | ♿Spilou♿ | 46% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0uNche ツ | +3.93 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | XpLz | +3.06 | 59 | 84 |
| #3 | Vitalic | +0.16 | 73 | 50 |
| #4 | Eleven. | -0.04 | 71 | 42 |
| #5 | JoHn Muir -̷̨●̷̨° | -0.50 | 56 | 68 |





