








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 467 | 22% |
| Smokes | 387 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 749 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 540 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $458,247 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeyondEffect | 57% | 58 |
| #2 | goblin | 48% | 83 |
| #3 | ThunderCheeks | 42% | 99 |
| #4 | Yoon | 40% | 143 |
| #5 | Jäger | 39% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeyondEffect | +7.11 | 90 | 70 |
| #2 | jwbandit4 | +4.51 | 48 | 52 |
| #3 | goblin | +3.14 | 51 | 25 |
| #4 | ThunderCheeks | +3.09 | 56 | 53 |
| #5 | cwis | +2.08 | 58 | 53 |





