








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1359 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1585 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1020 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1340 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $352,309 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maskin | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | J@k0b | 63% | 56 |
| #3 | pauli | 49% | 55 |
| #4 | Gruvan Bastuspik | 16% | 25 |
| #5 | Balbin | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | J@k0b | 63% | 56 |
| #3 | pauli | 49% | 55 |
| #4 | Gruvan Bastuspik | 16% | 25 |
| #5 | Balbin | 14% | 14 |
| #6 | daddy lil snorre | 13% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J@k0b | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Maskin | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pauli | 121 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | J@k0b | 110 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Gruvan Bastuspik | 18 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | daddy lil snorre | 18 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Balbin | 18 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bauw | +1.79 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | J@k0b | +0.80 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | pauli | +0.17 | 79 | 59 |
| #4 | Balbin | -1.30 | 77 | 54 |
| #5 | Maskin | -1.39 | 56 | 44 |





