








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1671 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1245 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1698 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 818 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1214 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $317,746 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Guang113Gao | 36% | 33 |
| #13 | Almtan | 33% | 54 |
| #14 | BRAVEHEART | 23% | 26 |
| #15 | why haruhikage | 19% | 16 |
| #16 | Blackhand | 13% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pandaham | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | f10w32 | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Almtan | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Kirico | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | BRAVEHEART | 2 | 0.0038 |





