








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 812 | 22% |
| Smokes | 717 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1474 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 757 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $637,256 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ benjo | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | np for sLix ॐ | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | sLix マ | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | Kazuto | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | 98453982298423523525252534674864 | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ benjo | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | np for sLix ॐ | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | sLix マ | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | Kazuto | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | 98453982298423523525252534674864 | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 98453982298423523525252534674864 | 42 | 0.0437 |
| #2 | ✪ benjo | 25 | 0.0231 |
| #3 | np for sLix ॐ | 18 | 0.0258 |
| #4 | sLix マ | 10 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | Kazuto | 6 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | np for sLix ॐ | 261 | 0.37 | 6 min |
| #2 | 98453982298423523525252534674864 | 234 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪ benjo | 142 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kazuto | 115 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #5 | sLix マ | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | np for sLix ॐ | +4.53 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | 98453982298423523525252534674864 | +3.11 | 85 | 43 |
| #3 | ✪ benjo | +1.56 | 74 | 52 |
| #4 | LOLYOU | +0.36 | 75 | 32 |
| #5 | sLix マ | +0.09 | 65 | 45 |





