








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 271 | 13% |
| Smokes | 170 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 873 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 786 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,685 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nekkuoi | 60% | 156 |
| #2 | Derek, Consumer of Fentanyl | 59% | 153 |
| #3 | Narveik | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nekkuoi | 60% | 156 |
| #2 | Derek, Consumer of Fentanyl | 59% | 153 |
| #3 | Narveik | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derek, Consumer of Fentanyl | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Narveik | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | nekkuoi | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derek, Consumer of Fentanyl | 548 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | Narveik | 118 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | nekkuoi | 7 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derek, Consumer of Fentanyl | +4.67 | 54 | 62 |
| #2 | ramushe | +1.94 | 74 | 27 |
| #3 | Narveik | -0.11 | 37 | 40 |
| #4 | nekkuoi | -6.72 | 12 | 10 |





