










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 488 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5016 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7378 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6182 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4912 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,384,810 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mäxchen ツ | 59% | 63 |
| #2 | Birri_98 | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | H1st0ry | 49% | 346 |
| #4 | sHu | 42% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mäxchen ツ | 59% | 63 |
| #2 | Birri_98 | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | H1st0ry | 49% | 346 |
| #4 | sHu | 42% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H1st0ry | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Mäxchen ツ | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | sHu | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Birri_98 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H1st0ry | 195 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #2 | Mäxchen ツ | 82 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Birri_98 | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | sHu | 49 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Birri_98 | +2.97 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | _Sch0m1_ | +0.75 | 59 | 73 |
| #3 | Mäxchen ツ | +0.20 | 62 | 57 |
| #4 | H1st0ry | -1.44 | 32 | 45 |
| #5 | sHu | -1.60 | 36 | 44 |





