








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 133 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1297 | 7% |
| Smokes | 6233 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5884 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5180 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,533,894 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeal | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | anime man wit a can | 52% | 440 |
| #3 | Chewber | 47% | 130 |
| #4 | S1mply Orange | 46% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeal | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | anime man wit a can | 52% | 440 |
| #3 | Chewber | 47% | 130 |
| #4 | S1mply Orange | 46% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anime man wit a can | 23 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Chewber | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | S1mply Orange | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Zeal | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anime man wit a can | 374 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #2 | S1mply Orange | 168 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Chewber | 5 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| #4 | Zeal | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Electro | +2.74 | 60 | 40 |
| #2 | Zeal | +0.18 | 79 | 4 |
| #3 | anime man wit a can | -0.33 | 46 | 36 |
| #4 | S1mply Orange | -1.35 | 48 | 41 |
| #5 | Chewber | -6.03 | 15 | 11 |





