








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 758 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 503 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4140 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 476 | 7% |
| Smokes | 488 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 5086 | 76% |
| Molotovs | 672 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,052,266 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





