








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5551 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4707 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4727 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3426 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,433,438 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YaaMoiiii! -Z- | 775 | 0.31 | 24 min |
| #2 | - zhe | 517 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | ππππππ¦ππ‘ | 394 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | π
Όπ
°π
Άπ
½π
΄ππ
Ύ | 382 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #5 | Wazzaap | 164 | 0.09 | 4 min |





