








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 593 | 30% |
| Smokes | 429 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 600 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 384 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $306,504 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A.A. | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | S.B. | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | H.M. | 53% | 53 |
| #4 | QwickieMAMBA | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A.A. | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | S.B. | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | H.M. | 53% | 53 |
| #4 | QwickieMAMBA | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H.M. | 132 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | QwickieMAMBA | 99 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | S.B. | 32 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | A.A. | 4 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H.M. | +1.51 | 71 | 59 |
| #2 | A.A. | +0.95 | 53 | 59 |
| #3 | ♛ I Like Dogs | +0.30 | 85 | 54 |
| #4 | QwickieMAMBA | -0.29 | 82 | 70 |
| #5 | S.B. | -1.04 | 64 | 61 |





