








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 246 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3100 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4038 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2433 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2191 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,071,401 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr4nkkkkk | 61% | 54 |
| #2 | fogg. | 58% | 98 |
| #3 | Stroxx | 58% | 198 |
| #4 | eM.! | 57% | 87 |
| #5 | .#ƞ϶ѵϵᴙᴍἰրᴆ♦_^ | 52% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | eM.! | 57% | 87 |
| #5 | .#ƞ϶ѵϵᴙᴍἰրᴆ♦_^ | 52% | 245 |
| #6 | .Ivanooooo +} | 49% | 96 |
| #7 | Papst.# | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | Novaaaaa | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stroxx | 17 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | .#ƞ϶ѵϵᴙᴍἰրᴆ♦_^ | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | fogg. | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Novaaaaa | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | eM.! | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .#ƞ϶ѵϵᴙᴍἰրᴆ♦_^ | 562 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | eM.! | 342 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Stroxx | 267 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | fogg. | 216 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | cr4nkkkkk | 167 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .#ƞ϶ѵϵᴙᴍἰրᴆ♦_^ | +2.08 | 81 | 73 |
| #2 | Papst.# | +1.04 | 86 | 69 |
| #3 | cr4nkkkkk | +0.73 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | fogg. | +0.61 | 91 | 65 |
| #5 | Stroxx | +0.56 | 81 | 66 |





