








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 635 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 519 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5351 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8566 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 6439 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5749 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,194,703 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | -shozabred ꑭ | 50% | 393 |
| #7 | Пісік Васильович | 50% | 112 |
| #8 | hleb_stychkin | 49% | 455 |
| #9 | Skif | 47% | 452 |
| #10 | d9nam1c | 46% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hleb_stychkin | 44 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | bezdar' nikelec❤⚡ | 25 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | -shozabred ꑭ | 18 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Skif | 17 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Top Cum | 10 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hleb_stychkin | 701 | 0.07 | 16 min |
| #2 | bezdar' nikelec❤⚡ | 678 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #3 | -shozabred ꑭ | 484 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| #4 | Пісік Васильович | 251 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Skif | 194 | 0.02 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top Cum | +2.94 | 79 | 50 |
| #2 | -shozabred ꑭ | +1.11 | 72 | 54 |
| #3 | Johnny Silverhand | +0.77 | 64 | 71 |
| #4 | bezdar' nikelec❤⚡ | -0.10 | 58 | 61 |
| #5 | Пісік Васильович | -0.47 | 57 | 65 |





