








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1988 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2584 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3048 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2230 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,266,465 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HerQ | 1007 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | ✝ | 810 | 0.35 | 22 min |
| #3 | Nikedus | 742 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #4 | Ramses II | 105 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | STAGALA | 100 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikedus | +2.42 | 54 | 58 |
| #2 | ✝ | +0.85 | 42 | 76 |
| #3 | Ramses II | +0.09 | 74 | 50 |
| #4 | Atom | -0.07 | 54 | 47 |
| #5 | STAGALA | -0.39 | 48 | 53 |





