








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 397 matches | ||
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 208 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5792 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6445 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5231 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5353 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,852,941 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 551 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alex | 70% | 69 |
| #2 | El_Samuel | 54% | 112 |
| #3 | POGGO | 50% | 195 |
| #4 | Dim Sum Drillings | 49% | 142 |
| #5 | SlightlyElite | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alex | 70% | 69 |
| #2 | El_Samuel | 54% | 112 |
| #3 | POGGO | 50% | 195 |
| #4 | Dim Sum Drillings | 49% | 142 |
| #5 | SlightlyElite | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | POGGO | 46 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | El_Samuel | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Dim Sum Drillings | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | alex | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | SlightlyElite | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | POGGO | 993 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #2 | El_Samuel | 418 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | alex | 257 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dim Sum Drillings | 162 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | SlightlyElite | 21 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chomu | +2.65 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | alex | +0.28 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | El_Samuel | -0.35 | 64 | 59 |
| #4 | SlightlyElite | -1.68 | 78 | 46 |
| #5 | Dim Sum Drillings | -2.31 | 69 | 43 |





