








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
885 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,904 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 553 | 29% |
| Smokes | 699 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 420 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 232 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,506 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡Titan-Camper | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | Raffel Biceps | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Titan | 41% | 29 |
| #4 | Wicht | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡Titan-Camper | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | Raffel Biceps | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Titan | 41% | 29 |
| #4 | Wicht | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Titan | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Raffel Biceps | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | ⚡Titan-Camper | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡Titan-Camper | 77 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Titan | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Raffel Biceps | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Wicht | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡Titan-Camper | +1.52 | 87 | 54 |
| #2 | Der Bergdoktor | +1.23 | 75 | 56 |
| #3 | Raffel Biceps | -0.70 | 80 | 44 |
| #4 | Titan | -0.92 | 77 | 52 |
| #5 | Wicht | -3.33 | 25 | 58 |





