








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 348 | 22% |
| Smokes | 431 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 281 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 532 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $295,838 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alcinous | 73 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | bofa | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | A 16000 DPI mouse cucked my wife | 52 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dragosater | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Reggie Gerber | 23 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reggie Gerber | +2.89 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | Ulysses | +2.69 | 53 | 31 |
| #3 | A 16000 DPI mouse cucked my wife | +2.40 | 89 | 64 |
| #4 | bofa | +2.10 | 54 | 52 |
| #5 | Don Ratigan | +1.24 | 57 | 41 |





