








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 365 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Renown | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1574 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2025 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2279 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1167 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,596,644 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1543 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 乇ムらㄚ らŧムnl乇ㄚ | 60% | 48 |
| #2 | bmw jambik | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | mallugoD | 55% | 133 |
| #4 | jozkoo ♿ | 54% | 110 |
| #5 | _𝖘𝕳𝖆𝕯𝖊_ ツ | 53% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | P0ttyM0uth | 51% | 68 |
| #8 | Almir | 48% | 33 |
| #9 | HeroPsycho | 47% | 34 |
| #10 | Ⓗⓐⓟⓟⓨⓚⓤⓝⓓⓐ | 45% | 89 |
| #11 | Harman | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jozkoo ♿ | 15 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | _𝖘𝕳𝖆𝕯𝖊_ ツ | 15 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | mallugoD | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | P0ttyM0uth | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | 乇ムらㄚ らŧムnl乇ㄚ | 4 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ⓗⓐⓟⓟⓨⓚⓤⓝⓓⓐ | 427 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | jozkoo ♿ | 343 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | P0ttyM0uth | 311 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #4 | mallugoD | 221 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | _𝖘𝕳𝖆𝕯𝖊_ ツ | 218 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bohyna Fortuna | +2.79 | 92 | 38 |
| #2 | _𝖘𝕳𝖆𝕯𝖊_ ツ | +1.47 | 82 | 64 |
| #3 | mallugoD | +1.45 | 75 | 46 |
| #4 | bmw jambik | -0.47 | 77 | 64 |
| #5 | Almir | -0.85 | 69 | 40 |





