








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1655 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5300 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7078 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5860 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 9156 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,730,767 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 988 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





