








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 746 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2445 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2627 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1771 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1695 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $448,688 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ahoeoe | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Frrrank | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | andeeeyehH | 60% | 58 |
| #4 | theCr✪w | 57% | 54 |
| #5 | YourMommy | 57% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Frrrank | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | andeeeyehH | 60% | 58 |
| #4 | theCr✪w | 57% | 54 |
| #5 | YourMommy | 57% | 72 |
| #6 | Sgt. Rutt | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theCr✪w | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | andeeeyehH | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | YourMommy | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Frrrank | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | ahoeoe | 2 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theCr✪w | 220 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | andeeeyehH | 130 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | YourMommy | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | ahoeoe | 33 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sgt. Rutt | 25 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ahoeoe | +2.67 | 66 | 63 |
| #2 | andeeeyehH | +1.74 | 80 | 58 |
| #3 | WeHaveToGoBackKate | +1.07 | 80 | 69 |
| #4 | theCr✪w | +0.22 | 42 | 71 |
| #5 | YourMommy | -2.38 | 22 | 62 |





