








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4035 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3335 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2607 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2862 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $201,270 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bdN | 69% | 91 |
| #2 | WIKAWIKA | 69% | 29 |
| #3 | wdz | 66% | 86 |
| #4 | de_filed | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | Meatball^_^ | 65% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | dr. ew | 57% | 91 |
| #10 | MR | 55% | 66 |
| #11 | ItzKaaz | 50% | 14 |
| #12 | kwelie | 50% | 20 |
| #13 | boojerz | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tsereveyw | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | me3kz | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Meatball^_^ | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | bdN | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | wdz | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tsereveyw | 545 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | Meatball^_^ | 484 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | wdz | 421 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #4 | me3kz | 412 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | bdN | 258 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bdN | +4.90 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | zaK | +1.57 | 84 | 71 |
| #3 | ItzKaaz | +1.21 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | Meatball^_^ | +0.67 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | boojerz | +0.47 | 67 | 66 |





