










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1324 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1518 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1864 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 285 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $716,857 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pickles | 46% | 41 |
| #2 | Storm | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | Chaos | 28% | 39 |
| #4 | Xtinct | 25% | 16 |
| #5 | bEaNeR | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Storm | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | Chaos | 28% | 39 |
| #4 | Xtinct | 25% | 16 |
| #5 | bEaNeR | 25% | 24 |
| #6 | Karbi | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storm | 3 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | bEaNeR | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Xtinct | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Chaos | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Karbi | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chaos | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | Xtinct | 28 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pickles | 26 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Storm | 19 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | bEaNeR | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storm | +9.37 | 96 | 67 |
| #2 | Chaos | -0.31 | 21 | 34 |
| #3 | Munch | -1.04 | 25 | 57 |
| #4 | Xtinct | -1.48 | 39 | 41 |
| #5 | Pickles | -2.62 | 25 | 22 |





