








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 757 | 29% |
| Smokes | 684 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 617 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 578 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $96,788 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRASiSWE | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | PHallina | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Dazak | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Ylä | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | mfdumb | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dazak | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Ylä | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | mfdumb | 53% | 19 |
| #6 | nålaD | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | Im Rick James, Bitch | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dazak | 4 | 0.0189 |
| #2 | mfdumb | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | PHallina | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mfdumb | 57 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | PHallina | 36 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ylä | 19 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dazak | 19 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | CRASiSWE | 16 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot | +4.04 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | PHallina | +1.93 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | mfdumb | +0.26 | 54 | 67 |
| #4 | Dazak | -0.98 | 74 | 43 |
| #5 | CRASiSWE | -1.14 | 64 | 72 |





