








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 757 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6926 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5154 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3246 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4232 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,558,283 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toban | 70% | 44 |
| #2 | Samzby | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | MNU | 54% | 68 |
| #4 | Rene | 53% | 73 |
| #5 | SaQ | 52% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | JESEP | 43% | 143 |
| #9 | joonanah | 40% | 84 |
| #10 | Kiisu | 40% | 70 |
| #11 | Fabio | 38% | 200 |
| #12 | Kristiina_ | 27% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabio | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | SaQ | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | JESEP | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Äänen nopeus esa | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Rene | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JESEP | 650 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | Fabio | 313 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | MNU | 204 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rene | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Äänen nopeus esa | 160 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toban | +5.94 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | Rene | +5.85 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | Hessu | +2.96 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | SaQ | +2.84 | 68 | 28 |
| #5 | MNU | +2.27 | 61 | 60 |





