








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1197 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1547 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1107 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 712 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $291,234 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memory | 11 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memory | 277 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | (TheRealCatArmy) jockecknocke | 89 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | eXampL | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Himmel | 41 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | HIGH BRIX | 30 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Himmel | +3.61 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | eXampL | +1.11 | 74 | 41 |
| #3 | (TheRealCatArmy) jockecknocke | +0.44 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | Memory | -0.18 | 73 | 55 |
| #5 | Katanmai | -0.52 | 72 | 52 |





