








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 382 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1218 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 988 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 623 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $511,541 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 742 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cub | 48% | 56 |
| #2 | 2% African | 47% | 172 |
| #3 | Billy DROP.SKIN | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | Bello | 38% | 50 |
| #5 | urHIGHness | 37% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cub | 48% | 56 |
| #2 | 2% African | 47% | 172 |
| #3 | Billy DROP.SKIN | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | Bello | 38% | 50 |
| #5 | urHIGHness | 37% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bello | 16 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | 2% African | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Cub | 11 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | urHIGHness | 9 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2% African | 231 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bello | 191 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Billy DROP.SKIN | 164 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #4 | Cub | 154 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | urHIGHness | 149 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cub | +3.71 | 62 | 54 |
| #2 | Billy DROP.SKIN | +2.45 | 78 | 74 |
| #3 | Lynxy | +1.87 | 82 | 32 |
| #4 | Bello | +0.86 | 63 | 34 |
| #5 | 2% African | +0.43 | 60 | 56 |





