








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1032 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 173 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6707 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5720 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5327 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5838 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,372,142 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2072 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StrungSweeney | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | Droogs | 55% | 164 |
| #3 | The Midnight Q | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | Lil Woo | 54% | 222 |
| #5 | MGC Sebi | 52% | 95 |





