








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4755 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3587 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4107 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4423 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,082,919 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StarDusto | 50% | 52 |
| #2 | SoulMa5ter | 50% | 78 |
| #3 | Fluck! | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | WumWums | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StarDusto | 50% | 52 |
| #2 | SoulMa5ter | 50% | 78 |
| #3 | Fluck! | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | WumWums | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoulMa5ter | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | StarDusto | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Fluck! | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | WumWums | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoulMa5ter | 344 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | WumWums | 138 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Fluck! | 121 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | StarDusto | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WumWums | +2.92 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | StarDusto | +1.43 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | Fluck! | +0.31 | 57 | 62 |
| #4 | SoulMa5ter | -0.29 | 40 | 67 |
| #5 | REE | -0.51 | 41 | 60 |





