








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1031 | 42% |
| Smokes | 615 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 341 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 474 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $225,892 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MxYogERTS | 52% | 31 |
| #2 | thumbo | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Pup in a cup | 49% | 73 |
| #4 | HughHmongous | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MxYogERTS | 52% | 31 |
| #2 | thumbo | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Pup in a cup | 49% | 73 |
| #4 | HughHmongous | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pup in a cup | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | HughHmongous | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MxYogERTS | 126 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Pup in a cup | 124 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | HughHmongous | 29 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | thumbo | 23 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pup in a cup | +2.36 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | HughHmongous | +1.05 | 57 | 63 |
| #3 | MxYogERTS | -0.21 | 60 | 69 |
| #4 | LaZee | -0.23 | 59 | 62 |
| #5 | thumbo | -1.38 | 38 | 63 |





