










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 188 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1906 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3284 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4156 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3039 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,787,142 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 732 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grażyna | 16 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Bajson | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | ๋ | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Blue | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ♛💜 Szuru buru💜 ♛ | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bajson | 958 | 0.29 | 25 min |
| #2 | ๋ | 533 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | Grażyna | 219 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bajdik | 187 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #5 | WujaSzef | 115 | 0.17 | 2 min |





