








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 527 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1215 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1250 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1950 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1451 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,188,385 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gardien | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Oupah | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | p2Monster | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Spotify : SIS6 MENDITO | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | GOM | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oupah | 548 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | Spotify : SIS6 MENDITO | 285 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #3 | Gardien | 222 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | GOM | 163 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | p2Monster | 160 | 0.13 | 3 min |





