










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 632 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1115 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 647 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 760 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $457,860 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacobthetourist | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | panduuuh | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Gan | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacobthetourist | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | panduuuh | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Gan | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | panduuuh | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Gan | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Jacobthetourist | 2 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | panduuuh | 119 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jacobthetourist | 45 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Gan | 23 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacobthetourist | +1.75 | 79 | 36 |
| #2 | Yury | +1.62 | 85 | 44 |
| #3 | panduuuh | +0.12 | 65 | 56 |
| #4 | Gan | -2.23 | 44 | 28 |





