








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 220 | 29% |
| Smokes | 237 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 74 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 223 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $42,531 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benshi | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | en_Benshit #NoGrindFaggot | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | ToasT | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benshi | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | en_Benshit #NoGrindFaggot | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | ToasT | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | en_Benshit #NoGrindFaggot | 49 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | Benshi | 22 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | ToasT | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEAST | +1.29 | 90 | 56 |
| #2 | ToasT | -0.21 | 83 | 49 |
| #3 | Benshi | -0.75 | 94 | 45 |
| #4 | en_Benshit #NoGrindFaggot | -1.32 | 72 | 46 |





