








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2089 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13456 | 36% |
| Smokes | 8327 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8251 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7725 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,062,104 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 | 61% | 150 |
| #2 | craven | 57% | 256 |
| #3 | Sloth | 56% | 259 |
| #4 | berry licker | 49% | 79 |
| #5 | Call the FBI I MAKE BOMB THREATS | 47% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | craven | 57% | 256 |
| #3 | Sloth | 56% | 259 |
| #4 | berry licker | 49% | 79 |
| #5 | Call the FBI I MAKE BOMB THREATS | 47% | 292 |
| #6 | dont toggling | 42% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Call the FBI I MAKE BOMB THREATS | 70 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | craven | 19 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Sloth | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | berry licker | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | craven | 1003 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #2 | 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 | 778 | 0.30 | 20 min |
| #3 | Sloth | 618 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | Call the FBI I MAKE BOMB THREATS | 334 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #5 | berry licker | 232 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kush goblin | +4.72 | 87 | 66 |
| #2 | 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 | +1.65 | 68 | 78 |
| #3 | craven | +1.24 | 86 | 63 |
| #4 | Sloth | -0.33 | 60 | 50 |
| #5 | berry licker | -0.87 | 58 | 50 |





