








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2144 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1454 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1576 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 832 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,392 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XaNo cigaNo | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Ashy | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | I❤Fer**AZEVEDO** | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Hell Kaizer | 59% | 58 |
| #5 | Suricata | 53% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suricata | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Hell Kaizer | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | XaNo cigaNo | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hell Kaizer | 158 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Suricata | 43 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | I❤Fer**AZEVEDO** | 38 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | CHEF | 24 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | XaNo cigaNo | 19 | 0.07 | 1 min |





