








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 828 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




126 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2615 | 40% |
| Smokes | 474 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1693 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1828 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $612,177 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hmr | 70% | 40 |
| #2 | Hirox | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | dourados1 | 60% | 82 |
| #4 | Marvan IX | 59% | 49 |
| #5 | kidz | 59% | 145 |





