








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 622 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1249 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 876 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 453 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $476,453 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L.Bango | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | swag | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | bobsyouruncle | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | White Monster | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobsyouruncle | 612 | 0.31 | 15 min |
| #2 | L.Bango | 156 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Misery Club | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | swag | 58 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | White Monster | 57 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobsyouruncle | +2.33 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | Misery Club | +1.21 | 47 | 53 |
| #3 | swag | +1.05 | 54 | 41 |
| #4 | L.Bango | +0.92 | 55 | 53 |
| #5 | White Monster | +0.92 | 73 | 45 |





