








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 462 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3300 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5689 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3700 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5352 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,662,279 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BAPZ | 52% | 91 |
| #2 | Kramer | 51% | 57 |
| #3 | BigDylYo | 51% | 132 |
| #4 | 𝚂𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚗𝚎𝚕 | 50% | 133 |
| #5 | saRge | 48% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 𝚂𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚗𝚎𝚕 | 50% | 133 |
| #5 | saRge | 48% | 66 |
| #6 | Ted | 47% | 93 |
| #7 | Lethdren | 47% | 55 |
| #8 | Blippi | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lethdren | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | BigDylYo | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | 𝚂𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚗𝚎𝚕 | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | BAPZ | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | saRge | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ted | 279 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | BigDylYo | 270 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | 𝚂𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚗𝚎𝚕 | 208 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | saRge | 152 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lethdren | 136 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigDylYo | +2.04 | 78 | 70 |
| #2 | Lethdren | +1.99 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | saRge | +1.00 | 69 | 54 |
| #4 | Ted | +0.58 | 61 | 74 |
| #5 | 𝚂𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚗𝚎𝚕 | +0.08 | 44 | 70 |





