








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 755 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 190 matches | ||
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2307 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4019 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3751 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2757 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,005,301 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quleqq | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Righty | 50% | 161 |
| #3 | PhyraX | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | 「Adrian000™ #Me>U」 | 47% | 96 |
| #5 | Grabson | 45% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「Adrian000™ #Me>U」 | 13 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Righty | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Grabson | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | PhyraX | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Quleqq | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Righty | 485 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | 「Adrian000™ #Me>U」 | 354 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | PhyraX | 196 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Grabson | 170 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | PhyraX | 104 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「Adrian000™ #Me>U」 | +2.50 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | Grabson | +1.16 | 81 | 49 |
| #3 | Righty | +0.87 | 59 | 62 |
| #4 | mcbet | +0.25 | 52 | 63 |
| #5 | Quleqq | -1.11 | 49 | 51 |





