








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1846 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




140 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4219 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3419 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3436 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1518 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,815,065 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyKuaterzo | 61% | 56 |
| #2 | Kryptouk | 54% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyKuaterzo | 61% | 56 |
| #2 | Kryptouk | 54% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kryptouk | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | SexyKuaterzo | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kryptouk | 100 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | SexyKuaterzo | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | U lag too much hmar | +1.23 | 42 | 47 |
| #2 | SexyKuaterzo | -0.03 | 24 | 44 |
| #3 | Kryptouk | -2.15 | 26 | 41 |





