








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2492 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2204 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1444 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1669 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,948 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RacerMaster | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | EpicElephant | 52% | 77 |
| #3 | KeksBrot | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | Dragon ツ | 47% | 97 |
| #5 | iFail | 46% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | EpicElephant | 52% | 77 |
| #3 | KeksBrot | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | Dragon ツ | 47% | 97 |
| #5 | iFail | 46% | 95 |
| #6 | Fio | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iFail | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | KeksBrot | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | EpicElephant | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Dragon ツ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | RacerMaster | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iFail | 228 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | EpicElephant | 129 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dragon ツ | 56 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | RacerMaster | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | KeksBrot | 25 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerik | +1.48 | 70 | 67 |
| #2 | iFail | +1.43 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | EpicElephant | +0.39 | 50 | 55 |
| #4 | Dragon ツ | -0.71 | 59 | 47 |
| #5 | RacerMaster | -1.06 | 42 | 54 |





