








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 492 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5611 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6233 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4650 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3912 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,997,585 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corazon☯ | 56% | 204 |
| #2 | Uscar | 54% | 101 |
| #3 | GolDEEEE | 54% | 248 |
| #4 | 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚 | 50% | 163 |
| #5 | CarloFu | 49% | 224 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GolDEEEE | 23 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Uscar | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚 | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Corazon☯ | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | CarloFu | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GolDEEEE | 1359 | 0.27 | 34 min |
| #2 | Corazon☯ | 1301 | 0.32 | 27 min |
| #3 | 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚 | 605 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #4 | Uscar | 566 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #5 | CarloFu | 532 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8:24 | +2.85 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | GolDEEEE | +1.12 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | Corazon☯ | +0.38 | 62 | 67 |
| #4 | 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚 | -0.31 | 62 | 64 |
| #5 | Uscar | -1.00 | 66 | 67 |





