








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 424 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2120 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2173 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3193 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4003 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3819 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,823,915 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Пуцін твой бацькаⱭ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | 15 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | N1aR | 13 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | SoLo | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Mr.Snake-A- | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | HaZard | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1aR | 1232 | 0.11 | 31 min |
| #2 | SoLo | 640 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | HaZard | 496 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | Пуцін твой бацькаⱭ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | 432 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | y2™ | 369 | 0.17 | 10 min |





