








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2886 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2705 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 328 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 1698 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $471,892 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | D3M0N1C_P2T5 | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Matus | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | ☠︎︎ Bad_Bunny ☠ | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | bong | 50% | 102 |
| #7 | awazki ♡ | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bong | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | awazki ♡ | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Erak | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Matus | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | ☠︎︎ Bad_Bunny ☠ | 2 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bong | 395 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Matus | 77 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | awazki ♡ | 69 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Erak | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ☠︎︎ Bad_Bunny ☠ | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |





