








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,556 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2307 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2901 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1954 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 394 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,093,054 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | The Bait | 77% | 22 |
| #3 | h0rse★ | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | 1 Year Old Virgin | 61% | 107 |
| #5 | sabribri | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naut | 639 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #2 | YalamMagic | 492 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | ✪kiriu | 378 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | 1 Year Old Virgin | 273 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | Expensive Deranking Service | 187 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | +5.21 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | h0rse★ | +4.95 | 87 | 76 |
| #3 | 1 Year Old Virgin | +4.22 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | The Bait | +3.44 | 68 | 67 |
| #5 | Lil Squirt | +2.88 | 67 | 66 |





