








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 59 | 7% |
| Smokes | 95 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 367 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 292 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $159,165 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaming Cat | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Eliminate | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | Gaming Dog | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | batpig | 36% | 25 |
| #5 | Blixsy | 36% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | radio cat | 10 | 0.0248 |
| #2 | batpig | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | sprat rat | 3 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | Gaming Cat | 2 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Gaming Dog | 2 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Cheddar Champion | 26 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | batpig | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Blixsy | 12 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | radio cat | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | sprat rat | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eliminate | +4.16 | 90 | 50 |
| #2 | batpig | +3.19 | 59 | 52 |
| #3 | sprat rat | +1.14 | 49 | 32 |
| #4 | The Cheddar Champion | +1.03 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | Gaming Cat | +0.04 | 41 | 30 |





